My Head or My Heart
by Wombatron
Summary: Set after the end of 2x15 (slight spoiler) Mostly Lexas thoughts and a little bit of behind the Commanders mask... Only T due to descriptions. (Will be M after chapter 3)
1. Chapter 1

_**Ok I super loved this coupling and pulled a mega nerd and ploughed through the first 14 episodes and even did the fan girl happy dance once the two finally kissed (woohoo).**_

_**Thennn Lexa betrayed my fan girl trust, so I have to believe that they will be ok, that they will recover so as usual, fan girl angst channelling. I'm searching for a beta/someone to bounce ideas off of, pm if interested. Please forgive spelling mistakes.**_

_History can be defined as a series of amazing, tragic and necessary actions, but in the end without death we wouldn't have life, without trickery we wouldn't have trust, without evil there is no good. Without Sacrifice we would have no Victory, and without Victory we would have no purpose._

_~Unknown_

"May we meet again..." Lexa stated stiffly, clenching her arm into her side to stop from reaching out to the blonde women not 2 feet from herself, the woman who had exposed her heart from its dark cage deep within her chest, that same woman looking at her with those enchanting eyes, the colour rivalling the beauty of the bright blue sky. The commander swirled around and stalked off, not able to bear seeing those eyes shatter piece by piece, madness sneaking into the already cracked composure of her ally's sanity. The leader lead her army up a small hill and out of sight, giving herself the distance from her would be lover, her heart was pulsing painfully, worse than the bullet wounds in her chest, she needed to make it back to TonDc, then she could get away, take the time and allow herself to be weak.

Indra, walked beside her, not making eye contact as warriors are taught to do from a tender age of 4, inhaling sharply to battle the cold of the bitter night, all adrenaline faded, she coughed lightly to get her commanders attention, her eyes not connecting with the dead grey ones to her left.

"Heda, you were wrong to make such a choice, any leader can go with their brain, but to go with your heart would have made you stronger" the darker skinned warrior stated harshly, trying to make her leader understand that she had made a sacrifice that just this once wasn't the right one.

Lexa barely heard her words, staring blankly at her long-time friend, one of the few allowed to give council freely without much punishment. The kohl masked woman looked down at the ground again, not bothering to fully take in the words, speeding up her pace, the soles of her boots cracking twigs and crushing slippery leaves at she nearly ran back to camp. She needed to grieve, she needed to time tell herself that this was the right choice.

"_**Ai don sen in chit bilaik ai gaf sen in Indra… ban ai" **_the warrior snapped coldly, not looking at her council of one. Taking the message well Indra silenced herself and continued to stride alongside her leader, she was in as much pain as remembered her leader being after Costias head was delivered to her front door…

/

/

After what seemed like eternity the army of 1000 arrived back at camp, the injured were tended to and the families presented with their dead loved ones.

"_This is why I did it"_ Lexa rationalised with herself, taking in the relatively minimal damage, the mass of happy women and children embracing their fathers, brothers and husbands, the captives of the mountain met with happy relieved villagers, embraced back home with open arms _"the sacrifice of a few for the many… Without this sacrifice… Victory would have been met with more death, more carnage…"_

The commander trailed around the camp, her calm commander mask firmly in place, hiding her grief from her people, taking all the praise and happiness in her stride, all the goodness glancing off her like she was no longer compatible with such a pleasant thing.

Eventually the noise died down and the brunette strode up the small podium she used after battle, it was no more than a tiny cliff off the ground but it allowed for her to be seen.

"Today is a victory, we have got our people back, rejoice now and celebrate this blessing… Tomorrow we will bury our dead… Tomorrow we send our people off into the afterlife… But for now be grateful that the Sky people…

Lexa hesitated, only for a micro second, but to her own mind it was a microsecond to long.

_I'm not weak… I did not love Clarke… I do not love… Love only makes the strong weak_

The commander steeled her cold thoughts away for later…

"That the Sky people sacrificed themselves for us to be free" the leader finished, her ending met with a wave of applause and hollers of joy.

The commander left her small podium and strode straight to her tent, waving Indra to care for the people in her absence.

/

/

After the woman passed through the door of her tent she reached up and wrenched her armour off, the weight and what it meant disgusted her, the bloodied metal whacking one of the support beams hard, causing the shelter to quiver in protest, the armour was followed by the rest of her clothes, the commander sinking to the floor, to the very knees that had held her up all night, the strength no longer there, allowing her to finally crumple.

The girl that hid behind her cold mask finally was allowed out, the normally strong cold front shattered and hot tears streaked down her bloodied face, burning her cheeks, the flame of the salty tracks burning through her body, she could feel those cursed feelings, the very ones tearing apart her newly softened pink heart, leaving shredded bloody pieces of flesh throughout her chest.

Before she started her wailing the girl grabbed a soft pelt from her bed spread, curling up on the floor with it and screaming into the dead animals hide, her body trembling and hiccupping from the force of her tears.

_I'm sorry Clarke __**ai hodness**__ I could not pick my heart, not when it comes to my people, I am as __**kwel**__ as you told, you saw right through me…"_

After a few seconds of silence a deafening mantra entered the commanders mind…

_Imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry….._

The two words circled inside her skull, crowding inside and pushing hard, hurting her body more than she ever imagined possible.

The pain reached such a point that even the commander couldn't stay conscious and the internally destroyed brunette passed out, curled up on the cold floor of her empty tent…

_/_

_Translations:_

"_Ai don sen in chit bilaik ai gaf sen in Indra… ban ai" (I've heard what I needed to hear Indra, leave me)_

"_Clarke Ai hodess" (Clarke my love)_

"_Kwel" (weak)_

_/_

_**Review if you wish, I will make a second Clarke chapter if you'd like, I have a few ideas for once.**_

_**~Wombatron**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_No…_

_No, no…_

_Lexa don't… My people… Not after all the sacrifices we have made… The missile… The sniper… Finn and Costia…_

_You're the only thing keeping me sane; don't take away my safe harbour… I'm begging you…_

Clarke's thoughts threw themselves into her eyes, showing her vulnerability to her fellow leader, only for her silent pleas to be met with that cold mask of indifference.

How could the woman who not even a day ago kissed her so tenderly, who let her past the hardened walls of the Commanders heart and who wouldn't… couldn't… let the Sky girl be harmed in the missile attack… Become that hard ruthless Chief of the Grounders?

The girl who wouldn't let goodness in, who sacrificed in the name of victory…

The brunette stated simply "May we meet again" before signalling the tribal army away, along with the Grounder prisoners of the Mountain and all Clarke could do was stare…

She felt her chest cave into nothing…

/

When the strong brunettes army had left, the healers barely there sanity shattered even more, her inner killer smiling evilly at her within her mind.

**An identical image of herself stood in a blinding spotlight in her mind, surrounded by a cage of granite that was keeping the girl contained, she looked like Clarke but in a way was so different, this monster was everything that birthed out of killing another human being. **

**Its hands glinted with malicious claws, the gun metal grey tools of destruction clenching and thrashing, the beast within herself slamming against its now feeble prison at the darker parts of her mind. The thing gnashed its perfect Sky teeth, the pearly whites stained with blood, the blood of the mountain people…**

**Her inner demon was shrieking in excitement… it was going to be let out to play soon… It just needed to push more, to strain the weakened foundations of the blondes mind to the final cliff of rationality.**

Clarke couldn't move, the force of her insanity keeping her inner battle from her face, the soft tanned flesh was stuck in the twisted look of shock and betrayal.

**The grotesque twin of her minds creation stopped for a second, savouring the last moment before backing away from her cages wall, crouching slightly, taking in the glee of the moment. **

**When it was free would it kill the men of the mountain? **

**Would it go back and string the woman, who dared make her host feel once again, up by her toes and make her bleed from methodical seams in her skin, one the monster would carve, the lines matching the ones shining from her prison.**

**The lines of a broken leader**

**The beast sprung forward, slamming its shoulder into the barely up wall, roaring in triumph when the barrier broke into microscopic pieces, the shards of logic that once made her host a smart and caring leader, dissipated into nothing.**

/

Clarkes stunned expression melted into a smooth expressionless stare at the door of her people's prison. Before the blonde knew it she was gliding off to the side, up into the woods near the Reaper Tunnels, noting the cameras of the mountain peoples design, following her sleek stealthy moves, graceful after weeks of learning from the Grounder Warriors and a certain Wood Clan Queen.

Up ahead Octavia was being chased by Reapers, the mass too large for even the greatest warrior…

Logical Clarke, Sky Clarke, Commander Clarke… They all would have run… This fight ahead would surely end with her body being torn apart, the young flesh eaten and bones used as toothpicks.

But Clarke wasn't in control anymore… Her demon was…

Clarke bent down to extract the knives from her boots, the tempered steel glinting in the moonlight, each hand gripping the tools out to her sides, the angel of darkness lifted her head up, her face contorting into a grin of happiness, the blood lust finally able to be sated.

Leaping forward the Sky girl knocked Octavia aside and slit the first Reapers throat, the blood spilling down his chin, blending into the dried blood of his victims. Next came two more cuts, a new victim cut down, angry red lines appearing in an instant on the back of the savage's thighs, crumpling them both in one swift move.

So it went… The leader, a blur amongst the seemly clumsy grabs and swinging tools of man… bodies losing all momentum as soon as the small cold blades found their mark.

After what seemed like hours, but was no more than twenty minutes, the bodies of her victims piled together, the count over fifty.

The blonde coated red and black, her blue eyes darkened beyond recognition raised out of her crouched stance, turning to face her friend. Octavia couldn't believe what she was seeing… She knew that killing someone was a line people cross and can never return from, but she didn't think Clarke would cross such a line… Or be so powerful…

"Clarke?" the bloodied warriors friend asked carefully, her hands raised in surrender, she stood up slowly, her legs like water after all the running she had endured. After finding her balance Octavia walked forward, looking slightly down from the blonde's eyes.

Clarke growled in menace, her killer didn't want to have to think, to feel… This human meant a great deal… if she was near she couldn't be free to kill as she wished… The monster would have to be careful.

"Heda" the younger girl tried again, still advancing on the unleashed demon, she could fix this, put the killer back in its cage, just as she had done for Lincoln. "Octavia leave, let me help my people" the Healer husked out, her chest rising and falling rapidly, ready to kill if the younger woman made as much as one false move.

The young Grounder-to-be saw that her friend was gone and stopped her advance, shivering at the coldness she saw in her leaders eyes, the lust for blood. Octavia nodded her acknowledgement and left, Clarke's evil twin let out a growl of happiness, her crusade back on track.

/

Killing every Reaper on sight upon entering the tunnels, Clarke advanced toward her true enemy at an inhuman rate, taking the route back in to the prison she had escaped only a fortnight ago.

She eventually found her way back into the Harvesting Room, the once full cages now stood empty and cold, no shivering tribesmen and women held inside the dark steel bars, the weak who once stood proud.

Bellamy appeared from behind the cages, his face held surprise and confusion; the monster was becoming infuriated with these interruptions, as he went to speak Clarke pushed him aside, the stolen uniform ripping against the crudely made miniature prisons, the boy yelled in surprise just before his skull cracked against the steel of the barrier behind him, knocking him unconscious.

/

The blonde flashed in and out of awareness, the time speeding by in a wave of blood and skin, bones and teeth, steel and cotton…

When Clarke finally came to she was holding the President of the Mountain by his throat, his feeble body raised high, her nails biting into his skin, the guards enhanced by stolen bone marrow were wasting the precious gift upon the floor, eyes empty and dead.

"W-we can make a deal!" The man whimpered, his legs kicking in an attempt to find solid ground but found none, the angel of darkness squeezed so hard the ghost of a man choked pathetically, his windpipe shattering like the girls sanity.

In his last few moments before death Clarke shook the Mountain leader, demanding his attention.

"I don't use my mind to make deals, I use my **fists**, my **teeth**, my **blades** to win unconditionally, **no **man who takes men and women of pride and contorts it into savagery should be allowed to breathe any longer"

And with that the President died, the monster discarded the body and sat down, her job complete…

After an hour…

Two…

Three…

Her people came for her, and by then the beast had gone into a peaceful slumber within her mind, the cage back in place, not as strong as before but it held, not held by logic but by the relief that the fight was over, her people were free. But her body sat stiffly, hunched over, glaring at the dead body of the cruel puppet master who had killed so many, she had for a long while…

Jasper and Bellamy exchanged glances while Octavia approached her quietly, taking her hand and lifting her into a standing position, the smaller girl hugged the drained Commanders waist and walked her out to the survivors of the mountain men and they looked at her with gratefulness.

But they did not cheer, they did not roar in victory, because they understood that this was no victory…

It was the beginning of a whole new battle.

Now that they were once again together they would never leave each other's side…

/

The mass of Sky people made it back to Camp Jaha, Fathers and Mothers gripping their children in relief, chattering away and holding them tighter than ever before.

The older Griffin walked to her daughter and stood in front of her, the girl wasn't there… in body sure… but in mind?

The Doctor took her daughters hand and led her to the medical bay, once inside she found a comfortable chair, something rare in this new age and sat her daughter down upon her lap, keeping the blood caked child close.

"Lexa just left them" Clarke croaked out, her voice sore from growling and screaming at her enemies. "She picked her people over our alliance… She just… left me…" the blonde looked to her mother for answers.

"Why Mom?"

The older Griffin looked into her daughters eyes and saw only emptiness, all fire and passion burned away, leaving a shell behind… all love and compassion… all strength and will… destroyed…

"I don't know sweetheart… Tomorrow we'll ask ourselves the whys and how's… But for now please rest Clarke… This war has been long"

With the simple command the girl closed her eyes and let go, sinking into a dark abyss of dreams.

_**Message ideas for a next chapter if you guys would like it…**_

_**~ Wombatron**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"_**Costia, keep running! Don't stop!" Lexa yelled forward to her lover, the slightly smaller blonde running as she was commanded by her wife.**_

_**Their were Ice Nation warriors all around her, battling her people, the ones who had accepted her despite being of Ice Warrior blood. **_

_**The woman darted in and out between the cries of anguish and victory, getting hit with blood and god knows what else… She just had to make it… She had to escape her old captures… **_

_**Lexa was battling two balanced enemies, the pair perfectly in sync, raining down a series of well-timed blows that caused the Wooden Clan Queen to fall onto her back, one of her opponents slicing his sharp blade across her stomach, drawing a small stream of blood to stain her undershirt. **_

_**Her blonde lover looked back as she ran to see the two dirty blonde warriors looming over her beloved, readying to deal the final blow. **_

_**In her panic the girl turned suddenly and started sprinting back, only for her dark hood to be scooped into none other than the Ice Queens hands, the evil witch smiling with malice.**_

_**She had captured her prize…**_

"_**Sound the horn Basilisk, we've found what we were looking for" the lithe onyx haired woman purred, throwing the girl to her Second to carry.**_

_**As the horn sounded, both of the men attacking Lexa backed off… For a brief second, Lexa laid there, stunned as to why they were retreating, until she heard her lover scream her name.**_

"_**LEXAAAAAAA!"**_

The commander woke up with a start, her eyes still shut but her body more than awake, her heart thumping hard in her chest. She always had this nightmare after battle, but she had not been to battle in a long time now…

_Open eyes, I need to see the world, to remember that it's just a memory…_

Lexa's eyes slowly slide open; the spilled tears making her eyes stick slightly.

She felt dirty… grimy… but it wasn't because of the blood and kohl still glued to her skin, it was the feeling of guilt… She had betrayed and hurt the one person she never wished to harm…

Even if it was justified

The warrior slowly got off the floor of her freezing tent, her limbs aching from the previous night's loss of composure. She placed the ruined pelt back upon her bed and stood straight, letting her bones pop and crack, the cartilage bringing about a slight grinding feeling around her body.

With a small sigh the Commander placed her cold mask back upon her face, she had grieved enough about her actions, it was now time to bury the dead peacefully.

/

After donning her _Heda_ uniform the brunette set about organising the funeral piers, going out with the woodsman and cutting down trees, lugging them back to camp for hours on end.

Indra tried to engage her leader in a discussion about the alliance but she simply ignored her second and continued cutting, sweat pouring down her arms and face, cleaning some of the blood and tears away from the previous night.

"_Heda_, do you think that is enough wood?" a random warrior, Callum asked, slinging his axe over his shoulder, his mighty chest puffing in and out from exhaustion.

After a few minutes of deliberation Lexa simply nodded her head and allowed her men to return to their loved ones for the final preparation for the bodies of the fallen.

/

As Lexa was about to start the ceremony, there was the sound of rustling and people talking from a distance away, torches showing roughly a hundred or more people walking toward the tribes funeral arrangement. After a few minutes of tensed shoulders and warriors gripping the handles of their swords someone yelled "It's the Sky people!"

Lexa's eyes bulged as she recognised a familiar fair haired head among the mass of torches and her heart squeezed painfully, what was she going to do?!

She quickly barked orders to go help the Sky people, who after a few minutes, people noticed were carrying stretchers with white cloth wrapped body's on top. They wanted to burn their dead alongside those of the Grounders.

/

When the group was close enough to talk to they halted, the Sky peoples expressions ranging from pure rage to disappointment at the Grounders actions at the battle they were unified for. The warriors who had gone to help carry the stretchers called some others over to help set down the bodies with their own, they had earned the right to be called brothers, but if they were really honest, it was also because they felt sort of guilty about being called back from battle, it's not like they could defy their commander, but it hurt their friends none the less.

As the dead were arranged Marcus, Abby and Clarke all walked forward through the crowd, Clarke standing slightly back for once.

Marcus looked at the two Griffins to his right and grimaced slightly before forcing a smile and addressing Lexa.

"I apologise _Heda_, we didn't mean to interrupt the funeral… But after a vote, the people of Camp Jaha wanted to let their people ascend into the afterlife with yours… If… that's ok that is?..." Marcus left the question in the air, hoping that the Commander wouldn't make a scene if she didn't want this to happen. If he was honest the decision was more of a last ditch effort to keep the alliance alive without Clarke to keep them together.

Lexa nodded after a moment of hesitation, she was glad that they were trying to keep the bond alive, even if Clarke looked like someone had poured a bucket of blood on her and thrown her into the mud… and wouldn't make eye contact with her at all.

The male leader let out a small sigh of relief and waved his arm for his people to join the warriors, the combination wasn't easy but no one spoke out of turn… tonight was for the dead, not the living.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Ally we need to consider this…"

"No Marcus! She betrayed the alliance we spent so long to build! That Clarke risked life and limb for!"

"I know I know but this might be the only way we can salvage what's left; it will give people a chance to calm down about this whole thing, please Ally"

Clarkes eyes flickered open, her arms throbbing painfully from holding her knees to her chest all night, slowly… But surely… the blonde girl turned her head to see the adults fighting in the corner, arguing about the alliance for the hundredth time today.

The exhausted younger Griffin kept floating in and out of sleep, not finding any reason to fully wake up until now.

She really needed to pee…

"Mom… Stop please, we'll go to the funeral but could you to stop arguing already"

The Doctor turned her head, taking in her daughter finally awakening, sliding out from underneath the heat isolating blanket that had be placed over the bloodied, darkened skin.

"Now if you kids are finished I have important matters to tend to… Like relieving myself" Clarke finished, striding, admittedly shakily, out of the small Ark room and away from the pair.

/

Back in the present Clarke couldn't look at Lexa, it caused her empty chest, her savaged mind to try and reform into something usable, for her to feel again and the blonde wasn't ready just yet…

Lexa for her part was standing beside her as their warriors burned, the flames dancing across her dark skin, the fresh Kohl making her look fierce as usual.

Out of curiosity Lexa leaned down to ask Clarke something that was knawing at her throughout the ceremony "Princess, how is it your people manage to become free?"

Such a simple question, it was loaded with the smallest of emotions, rare for Lexa.

Clarke turned to her once possible lover and replied simply "The beast freed her people, as you did yours", the sky girl's eyes flashing a darker blue than Lexa had ever seen… before long they returned to the ceremony.

/

After the proceedings the guests were invited to feast in celebration, an honouring of the dead's memory.

Surprisingly the Sky people enjoyed themselves, actually managing to fit in quite well with the Grounders… It made both nations realise just how much they had come to accustomed to each other's presence, it made them all that more determined to solidify the bond between the two tribes.

Clarke and Lexa had taken their rightful place at the head of the table beside the massive bonfire; the pair sitting back and watching their people enjoy the reward for all the hurt and sacrifices they had to make.

Lexa was itching to talk to Clarke, to explain her actions more thoroughly, to show she wasn't just using her for her own gain…

After an hour of silence Lexa was about to break the unbearable tension when Clarke stated simply "Follow me Commander, I seek your council over a matter we both haven't resolved…" before standing and holding her hand out, challenging the tough Grounder to take the soft skin and find out just what the blonde meant.

/

Being unusually shy Lexa took the hand and before she knew it she was being tugged along to the edge of the darkened forest. Being away from the fire allowed the cold air to seep into the strong bones of both women, but neither shivered in weakness from the elements.

Clarke stopped suddenly, changing the course of movement so Lexa was backing up into a black oak tree, pressing their bodies flush together, causing Lexa to moan in surprise.

Well this isn't what she expected…

The healer latched onto the Commanders neck, suckling at the warm flesh with intent, leaving purple marks upon the Wood Queen. The taller girl gripped Clarkes back with her strong hands, the short nails digging in and leaving angry red trails down her back, moaning the blondes name over and over again, rocking her hips into the soft pants of the Sky girls outfit, seeking friction for the flame that had been set alight in her belly, the need to be satisfied.

Clarke slipped her hands up under the armour of Lexa's uniform, scratching her way up the toned flesh to the two delicious orbs upon the Commanders chest, rubbing the soft flesh gently, occasionally pinching the nipples and pulling them lightly, doubling the flow of juices between the Grounders thighs.

"Say my name Lexa, who is it that commands you?" Clarke demanded into the groaning girl's ear, rocking her hips in time with the desperate leaders, making the dark skinned girl more frustrated by the second, the fabric of the Sky girls pants rubbing in just the right spot but not putting enough pressure down.

"No one commands me Clarke" Lexa protested, though it came out as more of a half groan as Clarke stopped her movements, looking Lexa in the eye, waiting for the eye contact to be returned.

The brunette realised that there was no more pleasurable contact on her and she let out a grunt of protest, letting her head move forward so she could gaze into those soft blue eyes, only to find a glare being directed at the Commander.

"I will always control you Lexa, never again will you answer wrong unless you do not want to be fucked like only I can do to you…" Clarke growled out, pulling those hidden nipples hard one more time before extracting herself from the embrace and leaving the leader against the tree, panting in arousal and confusion.

"_What the hell was that?"_ Lexa gasped out, sinking to the cold ground, trying to regain her composure.

_**TBC**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thank you everyone for the awesome response to my story, I was starting to lose hope of its popularity but thanks to the reviews I procrastinated for an hour or so and here is chapter 5 for you guys.**_

_**P.S. Reviews make my day and for faster writing.**_

_**Oh and the 'Grounded Sky' is what I have decided to call the grounders/sky people, it sounded right to me, but if you don't like it feel free to PM any other ideas**_

_**Enjoy**_

Chapter 5

Clarke pushed away, her chest shuddering, nerve endings singing in arousal and the need to dominate the uncontrollable.

_The beast of her mind was growling in the corner of its granite cage, flexing its deceptively strong arms, waiting for its host to fall weak once more… To cave into her desire for control… Her need for submission…_

The blonde walked back to the bonfire, needing to space to breathe, to calm the beast, it was only allowed out if she allowed it to… Not before and certainly not after.

As she strode by the princess briefly glanced Bellamy with a light brown haired grounder, one from the Mount Weather she realised, the white Mountain Men bandages peeking out from under her clothes and on her arms, the blood long dried.

She was dancing happily with the Sky boy, the couple locked in each other's arms. Bellamy bent back, taking the girls arms and twirling her around, letting out a sweet laugh and pulling the grounder back in, quickly dipping her down into the classic sailor hold and placed a solid kiss to her creamy lips, smiling ecstatically at the response he received of arms looping around his solid shoulders and a soft pressure back on his searching lips.

Looking around Clarke noticed how more and more couples were in fact a cross of Sky and Grounder, a perfect picture of unity and acceptance.

Octavia had Lincoln to her back, the young couple curled upon the ground, slightly back from the dancing, Lincoln talking into the girl's ear, twirling a lock of mocha coloured hair between his fingers slowly, taking in the beauty before him.

Malcolm was talking to Indra, who for once actually looked interested in something other than killing

Jasper even had his Mountain girl held close to his chest, stroking her hair tenderly, swaying back and forth to their own beat.

And Clarke had… No one…

/

Turning to the side she walked off into the forest, following the trail back to Camp Jaha, her presence was no longer needed… not among these happy people of the Ground and Sky.

_Along her way her beasts head snapped up, seeing that its host wasn't alone…_

Up ahead nearing the Sky camp, were a small crowd of vengeful Mountain Men, each donned in heavy protective clothing and riot helmets of the old world, rifles held at the ready, expecting the 100 and Co. to be curled in bed, ready to be assassinated in their sleep.

"_Let me take them Host, they are no more than pests, a blot on this Earth that must be eradicated" the beast snarled, curling its claws around the white bars, pulling at the barrier harshly. _

Clarke's eyes clouded over as she succumbed to the will to protect her people from harm, the Beast of her inner Warrior shrieked its battle cry and leapt forward, wrenching a modest sword that was strapped to the Sky girls side from its sheath and brandished it skilfully.

One of the soldiers perked his head up at a sudden growling noise, wafting from the dark trees of Earths forest, the Mountain man trotted forward and whispered to his commander "I think there's something out there sir, it sounds like the monster that tore up Cage".

The leader of the small group pulled everyone to a halt and selected two men to leave and scout the area.

After a few moments of silence, the group heard a blood curdling scream pierce the air, and all of a sudden a messily removed arm was flung back at the group, landing with a dull thud and rolling a little, nudging the leader's feet, small squirts of residual blood splattering onto his pants.

The man looked around, panicking; he wasn't equipped to fight such a monster.

"Men, retreat!"

"But sir, after everyone they've kille-"

The leader shot the protesting man quickly with his rifle, the man dropping fast.

"Any more objections or do you want to preserve what's left of our race?" the leader asked the group, clenching his rifle tighter, daring any man to speak.

But…

His men weren't looking at him…

The man in charge stiffened and slowly turned around, holding his weapon close to his armoured chest, he felt a hot breeze being blown over him.

As the man finished his 180 degree turn he came face to face with the little Sky princess, but she wasn't so little anymore. The blonde was coated in blood and man, her arms fully flexed, holding small sword in such a way that it looked apart of her arm, the blade was single edged, with a crudely cut opposite side that was made for sawing into bones.

The man tried to take a step back but as he did the beast buried her sword straight into the coward's eye, spraying jelly and blood up into the air, the poor guy crumpling in pain, covering his damaged face with both hands, screaming in indescribable pain.

It took the men a second to figure out what had happened but when they did, they didn't hesitate to start firing, but that one second was enough for the monster to duck and roll out of the road, bringing its sword up to slice into a larger man's throat, his trachea being sliced, the rush of air and inability to breath made the man fall back, straight into the burst of bullets.

The remaining men looked down at their bleeding friends and tucked tail and ran

The she-beast smiled at her prey, running away into even darker forest.

Hoisting itself into the nearest tree, the agile killer leapt from branch to branch quickly catching and surpassing the group of terrified men. After reaching a place not far ahead, the predator jumped from the trees and waited, leaning against a nearby mossy boulder, relaxing for a second, enjoying the wait.

/

The commander had been trying to recover her senses for the past what felt like hours but was no more than 20 minutes, when suddenly she heard screams, fearing her people the brunette had run into the forest, looking for the person in distress, only to find two mountain men bleeding from wounds of the upper body, whimpering like dying animals. Being merciful Lexa had reached for her sword but found it missing, confused she wondered where the hell her favourite blade had gotten too, shaking her head to clear her thoughts, the girl grabbed a dagger from her waistband and quickly finished off the pale dying soldiers.

"What could have done this?" Lexa wondered aloud before following the trail of several boot marks in the slightly muddy ground, figuring out that the tread wasn't Sky quality but that of her pale enemies of Mount Weather, she counted at least fifteen sets.

The tracker followed the boots for a while, keeping low and scanning the dark in case this was an ambush.

After a while, the Wood Clan Queen slipped on a puddle of syrup…

The girl flailed and fell, rather ungracefully onto her arse, the hard ground bruising the soft flesh.

Lexa tried to stand up but ended up falling again, splashing the syrup onto her front and face. It only took the warrior a split second to recognise the scent of the dead.

Looking up the brunette saw fifteen bodies strung up in the trees; throats slit open and pouring blood onto the ground, each in various states of mutilation. In shock the leader could only stare, the dead twisting slightly from their branchy bonds.

Unknowingly, the commander let out a small gasp of shock, she couldn't help it… She had seen dead before, piled up in the hundreds after battle, she'd seen people tortured for information under Anya's rule, she'd seen death of a thousand cuts… But this mutilation was terrible… No one deserved that much pain, despite their crimes.

Wanting nothing more than to get away from the sight, Lexa rose, wiping her bloodied hands on her armour and quickly walked away, remembering the location for later, the 'Grounded Sky' people could come in the morning and give these victims a place to rest in peace.

Jogging now, the girl heard a noise far off, a mix between a growl and a cry, worried it might be the beast responsible for the death of the Mountain Soldiers, the warrior drew her dagger and took off toward the noise, coming to a halt a distance away from a small figure that was slumped against a tree, shaking uncontrollably, holding its head to its propped knees.

"Clarke?"

**TBC**

_**Now it might take me a few days to pump out the next chapter due to assignments, so please be patient and I will deliver**_

_**~Wombatron**_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_The beast had left a while ago, the twin purring happily in its granite cage, gazing at its blood coated arms with satisfaction. _

Clarke on the other hand wasn't content… She didn't black out this time… she remembered every scream, every cry for help, the begging…

The girl gagged a little at what she'd done, her mind felt squeezed and burned at the same time, she had no stable ground and it drew a strange queasiness to the Sky girl's stomach. Sitting in the cold of the quiet forest, Clarke didn't have to be strong, or have to care… So with that in mind the leader allowed herself to whimper through the memories swirling around in her mind's eye.

Suddenly in the darkness there was a small rustling noise, Clarke couldn't bring herself to care

_Let it kill me… Spare everyone else…_

"Clarke?" a soft commanding voice called toward the quivering girl, causing her to curl even more into a ball and hide her head in her hands.

It could have been anyone, but why her?

Lexa approached slowly through the brush, much the way someone would approach a wounded animal, ready to comfort… but at the slightest hint of retaliation?

Ready to kill.

"Go away Lexa" Clarke whimpered, feeling the killer starting to become excited once more…

Was it that insatiable?

"Clarke…"

"**GO**"

The blonde's voice phased in with the beasts, giving it a fierce powerful sound that echoed into the night, scaring sleeping birds from their perches.

The Commander kept walking forward despite the warning and crouched in front of the Sky girl, placing a hand on a trembling arm, the blood sticking to the tanned hand, but the Grounder didn't dare pull away.

Clarke slowly raised her head from her hands and looked into Lexa's eyes, the concern from the fellow leader giving her strength, enough to pull a curtain across the beast's cage, barring it from seeing its prey.

"I don't know if I can hold it back much longer Lexa… please, just get the hell out of here" Clarke tried once last time before letting out a small pathetic sob and clenching her knees closer to her chest.

The grounder sat on the ice cold floor of the forest and pulled the blonde into her lap gently. At first the artist tried to escape, pushing at the warrior's chest and kicking her legs out, scratching the iron strong arms and bruising her friend's shoulders but still the brunette held on…

After a minute of struggling Clarke finally stopped and slumped to her side, her head curled into the crook of the Commanders neck and arms held to her chest.

Excepting defeat...

/

Lexa understood what had happened, better than anyone else… Clarke had taken on the Essence of Death, an old story told to young, hopeful warriors before they signed up to keep their village safe.

_It was a cautionary tale of a man and his wife, who once lived happily together, in a village similar to the one the youthful warriors lived in. Now the man was a large proud warrior, the Second to the Commander of the Sea tribe, and he was known to be the best swordsman in all the twelve tribes._

_Now one day the Warrior was sent out with a small group, a hunting party, his wife not among them because she was his equal in every aspect of tribal life but had to attend to things in the village. _

_The group stumbled across a pale man, trembling on the ground, covered in foreign garments, the brave Warrior had never seen someone like this before but he was determined to help. So he picked the man up and brought him back to his village and the healer tended to him, but when trying to take the strange clothing off the man started convulsing and shrieking, skin starting to brighten red and peel._

_Now because the healer wasn't aware of how to fix him and assumed him to be rabid, he asked the Warrior to put him out of his misery, which the good Warrior did, he didn't believe in unnecessary cruelty, so in one big slice of his sharp blade the pale man went silent._

_That night the tribe burned the body respectfully and went to sleep, the Warrior feeling sad for the poor pale man, what had happened to him in the forest that made him so sick?_

_Coming to the next day the same hunting party left and killed a huge boar, much to the warriors delight. As the group went to return however they ran into a big group of the pale men, they held grey objects to their chests, looking at the ground, maybe searching for their friend?_

_The Warrior greeted them politely, even offered to share their boar with the strangers but instead a pale man held his grey thing high and it let off a bang, sending a warrior down to the ground, dead instantly. _

_Angry that these men had shot a good warrior for no reason, the good man allowed the group to attack, each of his men falling quickly with screams of pain and blood spraying into the air._

_In the end only the good man was left, he hadn't even reached the pale men and all of his friends were dead! _

_So the Warrior tired one last time, offering the boar and peace if the men left and didn't go near his village ever again, only for the Warrior to be pierced with a hot burn in his arm, looking down the man discovered a gaping hole in his arm. _

_In his overwhelming anger and shock he tried advancing once more only to be hit with more burning holes, this happened so fast that it didn't take long at all for his body to be unable to handle any more and give out, lying dead upon the ground._

_After a single night and day the group of warriors had not returned, much to the villages confusion, so a search party was sent out, the wife included._

_Soon they found the dead bodies and the wife let out a cry of anguish and swore revenge, the pale men would not be shown mercy. Blood for blood._

_/_

_Many a moon passed and the leader of the tribe passed and so in turn the wife of the brave Warrior became the Commander. She was as good as her late husband would have been and lead well, but she never forgot her promise._

_After a walk into the forest, searching for a new area to camp, higher upon the long hill they resided on, she ran into a pale man. _

_Not hesitating, with no mercy, the wife cut into the man's stomach, blood spraying onto her skin, clinging like glue, not that she was worried about blooding her armour._

_The wife victorious and glad to finally pay the pale men back for the death of her husband, the wife strung the man onto a long pole the villagers had erected in the middle of the village, high enough to be seen over tree tops from any direction._

_/_

_But after her kill the wife fell ill, twitching and growing angry constantly, she picked battles with other tribes and went out alone, slaughtering hundreds of warriors and if possible, pale men, anyone she perceived as a threat to her village. _

_Her people started to fear her and for her._

_After a while her closest of warriors entrapped her in chains and let the healer look her over, the woman looked to have not bathed in a long time and after scrubbing her clean he found a mark on her forearm, a simple arrow, pointed away from herself with lines draw in a cross over the shaft. A symbol of war and love, the need to protect those she loves…_

_The mark was traced on like a clean branding, the skin pulsing painfully._

_As an experiment the healer asked for the Commanders second, a smart young man, a man the leader had grown to have mother affection for, as soon as the man entered the tenet the woman was chained in, the healer pressed a blade to his throat and simply watched._

_What he found was not what he expected._

_The woman stared, her eyes rapidly dimming from their usual amber to a dark almost black colour, her hands flexed and curled, the fingers stretching a little, enough to be able to easily grasp a man s throat 3/4ths of the way around, her upper arms shuddered and expanded, giving her whole body a bulked look, down her back her spine popped and twisted, bending her over in a way which she would always be poised for battle, her teeth sharpened to slight points, not enough to be noticeable if not looking, but enough to glint in the dim torch light. _

_She was a demonic looking warrior…_

_The healer let the boy go and the Commander continued to growl and thrash, trying to get the healer._

_The healer couldn't think of a way to combat such a disease, the arrow was now a blood red colour, the burn dripping blood down her arm and coating it in a sort of human armour, it only covered her forearm but the healer was stunned._

_It was real blood, but the colour was too dark to be the Commanders, it was the darker shade of a pale man._

_The pale men's blood was toxic to Grounders…_

The warriors who heard this were always shocked, they always denied their fear but the story struck home well. Because of the pale men's blood lacking the ability to fight radiation, it would stick to the skin of a Grounder and over time sink into the blood stream, sending the system haywire, the blood weakened the warrior for merely an hour then after a while the warrior would experience a strange sense of time loss and mood swings. Then eventually hallucinations and a split personality, the warrior's beast and the warrior.

This had only in the past happened to warriors of high status, Commanders, on a rare occasion a Second, hence the reason for the body guards, it didn't affect them as badly, they would act like a Reaper for a day or so then come down off the foreign blood, and even then it would only happen if the warrior didn't wash off the blood within an hour.

Lexa had seen her father succumb to the disease when she was only a tiny warrior with a dagger, he was wild, not letting anyone leave the village and if anyone approached his daughter or wife, he would impale them with a long spear.

After a few days of this nonsense, Lexa's mother tried to kill the warrior in his sleep, ending with a struggle and the death of each other, the older brunette being strangled to death whilst her father collapsed from blood loss...

Little Lexa's dagger sticking out from his back.

/

Lexa came back from her pondering to look down at Clarke's arm, the same ugly arrow sticking on the beautiful forearm, marring the skin.

Clarke had shown more restraint then her father had, she still had control, not a lot…

But some…

Maybe the disease affected the Sky people differently?

They would have natural immunities from a range on pale men diseases wouldn't they?

They directly descended from them… So maybe Clarke had hope?

Lexa caressed the shaking girl's hair and squeezed the leader to her armour clad chest, trying to sooth the battle inside the woman she loved…

"I will face this battle with you Clarke and we will win, I swear it upon my title as Commander and those before me" the brunette declared softly, kissing the blonde hair gently.

TBC

_**Hope you enjoyed it, I thought I might explain the Beast a little so it made sense, so yeah.**_

_**Time for a little poll of sorts**_

_**I can go two ways with this**_

_**More Beast or More Clexa…**_

_**PM what you'd like**_

_**~Wombatron**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

_**Pre-warning: Clexa sexiness… Just saying… and possible spelling mistakes**_

_One month later_

"Lexa, don't tease! Please?!" Clarke pleaded, her hand grasping her girlfriend's hair tightly, trying to get her in the spot she needed her, deep inside.

The Commander looked up at her Queen and smiled slyly, the Sky girl begging was rare and always wanted when Lexa was having fun with her blonde behind closed doors, and it was a chance to channel energy in a positive way…

Swirling her tongue around those innocently pink lips, the brunette trailed her nails up and down her lover's thighs, leaving angry red lines in its wake, Lexa growled possessively, to see her Sky girl marked as her own was enough to stop the teasing.

Clarke bucked more insistently and this time the Commander obeyed, quickly homing in on the bundle at the top of her lovers pleasure centre, finally applying the needed pressure. The blonde moaned loudly in ecstasy, clawing at the girl between her thighs.

The Sky leader didn't think that having sex on the Tactics table inside the Leaders tent was exactly ethical, but once Lexa had bitten her neck, drawing the wild beast out from inside just a little, it seemed to make perfect sense!

"Clarke, look at me" Lexa husked out, taking her mouth away from its job and replacing it with her fingers, pulling and tugging at the slippery pink flesh of her lover, drawing moans and whimpers (in that order) out of the blonde in a sort of sensual song that only the Commander could play.

The artist managed to lean her head forward and fix her eyes on the girl between her legs, understanding the necessity of this moment, the final stretch to her climax, if she let her Sky Beast go, Lexa wouldn't let her cum… And that was not going to happen for the 3rd time in a row… Clarke was determined not to fail, hopeful for her long awaited reward.

_The beast was standing flush against its cage, licking its lips at the sight of her lover, but it could not taste the tang of blood or the sweetness that was Lexa… It needed its claim! _

_Angry at being denied, the Sky beast kicked and screamed, throwing its body against its granite cage._

Clarke shook her head and tried to concentrate, she had to meld with the beast, make herself one again.

_She stood before the rampaging beast, her body barely standing, quivering in impending release; this was the only safe way to communicate with the demon._

"_Calm yourself Sky Beast…" Clarke started slowly, standing before the white, grey cage, grasping a bar and sighing at what Lexa was doing to her body._

"_She is mine! Let me have her!" The beast growled, kicking at the cage once more, snarling to make her point._

"_She's no one's __*****_**whimpers**_*** **__Demon __***Faster!***__ and neither of ours until we meld__*****_**don't stop… so close**_*****__ do you understand?" Clarke managed to get out, she needed this to happen now or Lexa would leave unfinished, again!_

"_NO! MINE!" The beast shrieked again, watching the pleasure being wasted on her host, the pleasure that was rightfully hers._

_Clarke lashed out and grabbed the Sky Beasts hand and allowed the crippling desire to flow through both of them, calming the maddened twin and letting its face glaze over in want._

"_It can be like this all the time Sky Beast, equal, we would feel everything the same, it'd just be balanced out, you'd feel happiness, love, _**lust** _and in return I would share the burden of our madness together… *_**Oh FUCK Lexa I'm cumming!*"**

Before the Sky beast could agree, Clarke's body betrayed her, collapsing backward on the table, quickly wrapped up in the Commanders arms, holding her lover until the tremors of climax dissipated.

_The beast shook its head, waking from the induced haze and went back to the corner of its cage, quietly for once, savouring the left over goodness from the small touch_

After several long minutes Clarke was sleepily kissing Lexa's neck, enjoying the freedom of savouring her skin, the flesh that tasted surprisingly of jasmine and slightly wood like.

Lexa rubbed her lovers back gently, enjoying the moment, she deserved a second after the past month, hours of experiments and being chained up half the time after an episode.

Thank god Clarke hadn't hurt anyone other than pale men, but there had been a close incident with Mia, Jaspers mate. If there weren't guards on hand, that girl would be cut to pieces by now.

/

The pair rested for as long as Octavia could guard the tent, but in the end their people needed to be tended to, so the leaders collected their clothes and headed out of the tent, only to be bombarded by questions from Octavia about Who was where and how.

"O, leave the girls alone, they don't ask about you and Lincoln do they?" Bellamy cut into her babbling, Grounder mate close behind him, the two had grown close over time and after many pelts presented from Bellamy, the Grounder had asked if the Sky boy wanted to become partners for life.

Of course the boy agreed and the pair had been married in the way of the Grounders, wearing fine armour, each party presented a gift to show their contributions toward their future life, the girl presented a sword, her fathers to be exact, one that had been by her side since his death many a moon ago, it showed her willingness to be equal to Bellamy and acknowledgment of his warrior spirit.

Bellamy had smiled warmly at the gift and kissed his lover gently before presenting his gift, a simple ring, it was a flat band with diamonds glinting on the inside of it, something his future wife could wear to battle and not damage. At first she had frowned slightly at the gift, then he explained the Sky traditional marriage ceremony and she smiled softly, enjoying that he was letting her embrace his culture as she had allowed him to embrace her own.

After slipping the ring on her finger, he presented his second gift, an axe, one made from diamond materials found in Mount Weather, it was impossible to shatter, much to his wife's delight, she now carried it everywhere with her, the axe was small by warrior standards, but big enough to battle someone with the weapon swung in one hand and sword in the other.

Octavia yielded after her brothers warning and embraced his wife, the two had grown close too and the Sky girl has been accepted as her Second after being demoted from Indra, only after asking for her blessing of course… Just in case…

/

The trio walked off happily as Lexa snuck her hand around Clarkes waist to keep her upright, she was aware of how long it took her lover to recover from sex, only if teased too long.

When they made it back to their tent, the Commander slid her partner into bed and sat on the edge of the bed sighing, watching as the blonde succumbed to sleep wearily.

It had been a whole month…

There was progress yes, but Clarke hadn't breached that barrier that divided herself…

And after the days of anger and spiteful words flung at the Leader for not fighting the beast when it had control, the days of begging for her Clarke back, the Commander had stopped trying to destroy the Demon and then tried to convince the two to become one.

At first the only way for her lover to communicate directly with the Sky Beast was at the cusp of falling unconscious, this lead to series of tests and sever pain for Clarke, they had tried beating her, draining her blood even injecting a tranquiliser, but the treatments only worked for a few seconds, and by the time Lexa found out about these tests the Griffins had conducted in order to cure Clarke, se had barred the pair from continuing the dangerous road they were on.

That night the Commander treated her Queen with care, cleaning her wounds and soothing her, but as the night went on, in the land of dreams, Clarke was attacked with horrible nightmares, reliving her Sky Beasts actions.

She had cried and screamed for an hour, only calming down when in her lovers arms once more, eventually coaxing a kiss, a touch, an hour of love making, and she discovered that nearing her orgasm that she could talk with the beast freely for nearly a full minute.

The rest… was very pleasurable history…

/

Clarke sunk into her dreams, huddled up in a warm bear pelt, her lover watching for her sleep for a while.

In her dreams she was stringing up those bodies again and again, but instead they were Raven, Bellamy, Octavia, her mother, Marcus, Finn… Lexa…

Suddenly the dream changed and there was the Beast, sitting in its cage, looking at Clarke in her freedom outside of the cage, pondering its situation for once, planning instead of acting first. After a while of staring the Sky Beast finally asked "will it always be this calm if we meld together Host?"

The free twin looked at her own crossed thighs, sitting in the same way the Demon was…

"I hope so…"

With its question confirmed the Beast stretched forward, its finger tips just outside of the cage, waiting for her counterpart to meet half way.

Cautiously, Clarke followed, brushing the thin long appendages with her own shorter ones, only to be met with a rush of adrenaline, throwing the girls forward, their bodies fading at the last second and melding.

Dark and Light mixing into a final bond of balance.

_**So being a happy little author and listening to my reviews, I fast forwarded our timeline a little so we could have Clexa and the Sky Beast (I love that name btw) at the same time and for it not to involve several dead people. **_

_**Please review, I could end this here, but if you really want I could possibly continue it, but I might not, because the last episode comes out tomorrow and after season finals I'm gone.**_

_**~Wombatron**_


End file.
